Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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