oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
