when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
