I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So many bounce houses so little time
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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