big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
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