my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
