I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
