when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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