Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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