is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
