put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
