alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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