Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
