so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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