Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
