so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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