remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize