she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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