The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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