..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
