Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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