This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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