I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
