I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
