Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
