On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
This toilet bowl is my home.
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