in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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