After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
People with herpes should wear stickers.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
