I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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