I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Oh god it's open bar.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
