wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
