I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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