i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
