I cockslap morals
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize