ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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