apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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