I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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