bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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