i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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