some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
