Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
