I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
