i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I have already put on my inside pants.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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