the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
babies were throwing up all over the place
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
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