I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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