Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize