he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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