and you said cock pushups were impossible
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
