I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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