In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
