At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
