Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I have post one night stand depression
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
