you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
