If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
