You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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