I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize