lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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