I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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