I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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