Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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