How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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