are you still at the devil's house?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
