Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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