Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
two words: eviction party
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
